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New happies
3 January 2013 10:13 pmI had resolved at the end of 2012 to not make any unnecessary resolutions. I was comfortable with my life. Why change a thing?
Well, my mother pushed me to change. Begrudgingly, I complied in outlining some goals but just looking at them makes me depressed because I know that to fulfill them, I have to give up a lot of things I love.
It's not completely a bad thing, hearsay, since I know with all my being that complacency will lead me nowhere. It's true, yes? When you're just satisfied with the everyday goodness of your life, you're not going to actively pursue that potential greatness that you could be.
For me, I read a lot of manga, anime, and light novels, regular novels, play video games and watch movies. I'm a media maniac and devour stories like a ravenous beast. Which is why it's so easy for me to say, "Come on, what a boring character! Why can't they just strive to be the very best?" or "If you stay like that, nothing good's going to happen and there won't be a good story at all." And little ramblings like that.
When in reality, I'm exactly like that boring character that won't do a thing. I'm all talk but little action. A repeat offender of procrastination. Which is bad. Because I'm also concerned with appearances, because at least I want to be a decent person, and a brilliant multimedia-ist, in which I have too many interests that take too much time, it's overwhelming. But that's a different matter for now.
Anyways, that's why I have some difficult goals this year which requires that the relaxed life I drifted through must go. I have to part from my procrastination (mainly tumblr, damn you) in order to complete the tasks which really matter. But that means letting go of a few stray dreams, like drawing and writing, at least for now.
School is now my priority. Grades matter. Also, there's so many AP tests to study for, I don't even want to get started. Not to mention projects and SAT and ACT and all that jazz. I'm already feeling slightly suicidal writing about it.
It's hard, because a lot of this I'm doing because of parental expectations. I just want to follow my dreams. And I know one day I will. It's just that ... sometimes you have to have a little discipline before you can fly.
Well, my mother pushed me to change. Begrudgingly, I complied in outlining some goals but just looking at them makes me depressed because I know that to fulfill them, I have to give up a lot of things I love.
It's not completely a bad thing, hearsay, since I know with all my being that complacency will lead me nowhere. It's true, yes? When you're just satisfied with the everyday goodness of your life, you're not going to actively pursue that potential greatness that you could be.
For me, I read a lot of manga, anime, and light novels, regular novels, play video games and watch movies. I'm a media maniac and devour stories like a ravenous beast. Which is why it's so easy for me to say, "Come on, what a boring character! Why can't they just strive to be the very best?" or "If you stay like that, nothing good's going to happen and there won't be a good story at all." And little ramblings like that.
When in reality, I'm exactly like that boring character that won't do a thing. I'm all talk but little action. A repeat offender of procrastination. Which is bad. Because I'm also concerned with appearances, because at least I want to be a decent person, and a brilliant multimedia-ist, in which I have too many interests that take too much time, it's overwhelming. But that's a different matter for now.
Anyways, that's why I have some difficult goals this year which requires that the relaxed life I drifted through must go. I have to part from my procrastination (mainly tumblr, damn you) in order to complete the tasks which really matter. But that means letting go of a few stray dreams, like drawing and writing, at least for now.
School is now my priority. Grades matter. Also, there's so many AP tests to study for, I don't even want to get started. Not to mention projects and SAT and ACT and all that jazz. I'm already feeling slightly suicidal writing about it.
It's hard, because a lot of this I'm doing because of parental expectations. I just want to follow my dreams. And I know one day I will. It's just that ... sometimes you have to have a little discipline before you can fly.
(no subject)
30 July 2012 06:25 pmHah~ I like how I just about never update on here anymore.
Actually I don't.
One of my friends was willing to adopt four of my guppies, since I had to make room for at least nine two-week old baby fry. I decided to give them to her on Sunday, when we would see each other at church. But they died before they could reach her hands.
I feel so bad, because it was my neglect that killed them. I failed to stop my father who naively used tap water (treated) to contain the fish instead of aquarium water. Apparently the new water was too much of a shock and all four of them died.
Guilt guilt guilt.
Even if it is just four small fish, I just feel awful that I killed something. Even if I blame it on my father, it's still my fault.
aaaaAAAA.
But I guess I have to ignore it, since there's nothing else to be done.
This week I'm helping out at my church's children's art camp. Man, it's exhausting, and some of the kids are vehemently vexing. But most of them are just fine.
Also on Wednesday, I'll be completing driver's ed with the final lesson: the infamous parallel parking. Honestly, I'm tired of driving school, especially since I've had to endure watching at least three other drivers complete the fourth lesson (country driving) on the same road.
I've also been watching Natsuyuki Rendezvous, a josei anime about a love triangle between a florist, a man, and the florist's dead husband, who is currently in ghost form. Unfortunately, only the man can see the ghost, causing some very interesting reactions. The concept is very entrancing, the characters and cast are excellent, and the music portions are emotion-inducing. Because it's in the josei genre, the feel is definitely very different and I can't feel any stereotypical vibes anywhere. The characters are very lifelike in personality and all likable. Just one thing though; I feel like the story is escalating so fast, despite the fact that it's actually calm and undramatic! Wait, it is kind of dramatic? I can't really tell anyways, because it feels like both. Ah, but it is a strange love triangle and I'm curious about it's ending. However, I'll probably finish the anime before I pick up the manga.
I love short hair this summer.
Oh, and if I'm not on the computer it's nearly almost always because I'm playing minesweeper (such a useless game) on my Kindle or watching gymnastics or swimming for the 2012 London Olympics. I'm so lazy.
~Dara-dara~
Actually I don't.
One of my friends was willing to adopt four of my guppies, since I had to make room for at least nine two-week old baby fry. I decided to give them to her on Sunday, when we would see each other at church. But they died before they could reach her hands.
I feel so bad, because it was my neglect that killed them. I failed to stop my father who naively used tap water (treated) to contain the fish instead of aquarium water. Apparently the new water was too much of a shock and all four of them died.
Guilt guilt guilt.
Even if it is just four small fish, I just feel awful that I killed something. Even if I blame it on my father, it's still my fault.
aaaaAAAA.
But I guess I have to ignore it, since there's nothing else to be done.
This week I'm helping out at my church's children's art camp. Man, it's exhausting, and some of the kids are vehemently vexing. But most of them are just fine.
Also on Wednesday, I'll be completing driver's ed with the final lesson: the infamous parallel parking. Honestly, I'm tired of driving school, especially since I've had to endure watching at least three other drivers complete the fourth lesson (country driving) on the same road.
I've also been watching Natsuyuki Rendezvous, a josei anime about a love triangle between a florist, a man, and the florist's dead husband, who is currently in ghost form. Unfortunately, only the man can see the ghost, causing some very interesting reactions. The concept is very entrancing, the characters and cast are excellent, and the music portions are emotion-inducing. Because it's in the josei genre, the feel is definitely very different and I can't feel any stereotypical vibes anywhere. The characters are very lifelike in personality and all likable. Just one thing though; I feel like the story is escalating so fast, despite the fact that it's actually calm and undramatic! Wait, it is kind of dramatic? I can't really tell anyways, because it feels like both. Ah, but it is a strange love triangle and I'm curious about it's ending. However, I'll probably finish the anime before I pick up the manga.
I love short hair this summer.
Oh, and if I'm not on the computer it's nearly almost always because I'm playing minesweeper (such a useless game) on my Kindle or watching gymnastics or swimming for the 2012 London Olympics. I'm so lazy.
~Dara-dara~
Mashed Taters
25 November 2011 12:14 amPotatoes today, mmm.
Almost didn't reach the 40,000 word mark. But I finally made it.
Tomorrow's Black Friday, meaning I'm going shopping for a tablet! And my father also promised me a PSP if I can keep up my grades and finish my online coursework. You betcha, I will get this thing. Now just how to figure out how to get Hakuouki Limited Edition... I don't think my parents would appreciate their daughter playingdating otome games with lots of blood in it. And my mom's an anti-demon kind of person. She wouldn't like the "Demon of the Fleeting Blossom" tagline. I mean, she even thought Allen Walker was a demon! I had to explain to her that he was an exorcist but she would not hear any of it!
Anyways, off to practice some Mushishi OSTs on the piano before I go to sleep! Super excited! But I just don't know what to get my parents. =___=
Almost didn't reach the 40,000 word mark. But I finally made it.
Tomorrow's Black Friday, meaning I'm going shopping for a tablet! And my father also promised me a PSP if I can keep up my grades and finish my online coursework. You betcha, I will get this thing. Now just how to figure out how to get Hakuouki Limited Edition... I don't think my parents would appreciate their daughter playing
Anyways, off to practice some Mushishi OSTs on the piano before I go to sleep! Super excited! But I just don't know what to get my parents. =___=
Body parts
24 October 2011 10:24 pm My parents think that eating a certain body part will in turn help your body, in that same exact part. You are what you eat.
LOL, well I'll survive without eating that. Just think about what you could be if you ate frogs legs! Spider's silk! Swan's wings!
In your dreams man. In your nightmares.
Need better eyesight? Eat some fish eyes.
Need better skin? Eat some chicken skin.
Need stronger muscles? Eat the breast of a wild turkey.
Need better brains? Eat the—
And you get the idea.
Need better skin? Eat some chicken skin.
Need stronger muscles? Eat the breast of a wild turkey.
Need better brains? Eat the—
And you get the idea.
In your dreams man. In your nightmares.
(no subject)
16 May 2011 09:38 pm Feels like I've been neglecting dreamwidth for a bit.
Life is busy, blah blah blah, all the etc.
At the moment I have scanlation duties, a script to write and direct [due this week], tests to study for, an audition to practice for, and a commission to finish. Still, it's not as bad as some people.
So I'm crawling along slowly, hoping I can make it out of this school year alive.
I hope I can take driving school this summer. My mother is debating with herself and my father about it. Crossing my fingers!
This Friday I attended my school's ( orchestra banquet. Click to read more... )
Life is busy, blah blah blah, all the etc.
At the moment I have scanlation duties, a script to write and direct [due this week], tests to study for, an audition to practice for, and a commission to finish. Still, it's not as bad as some people.
So I'm crawling along slowly, hoping I can make it out of this school year alive.
I hope I can take driving school this summer. My mother is debating with herself and my father about it. Crossing my fingers!
This Friday I attended my school's ( orchestra banquet. Click to read more... )
