在森林里

Today I got my polio vaccination, and my arm is quite okay, except for that soreness whenever I move. It's not very painful. In fact, I probably enjoy the pain.

I'm not saying I'm a hardcore masochist; not at all. I would very much not like to be harmed if at all possible.
However, the little reminder of the sense of touch is something that I love. And pain is a way to prove that you are still alive, and not just randomly pinching your numb epidermis in your dreams.


It's that little discomfort that keeps me awake.




Honestly, as much as I'd prefer to be more on the sadist side, I definitely belong to the masochist side. Too much sympathy, perhaps. I cannot enjoy hurting others really, unless if the person happens to be one of my siblings. If it's them, I know they will forgive me quickly. I'm probably the most 'bullied' out of the bunch of us! Even my little sister berates me.

I seem to subconsciously enjoy myself as I put on too much pressure upon myself, such as that time in November. Remember NaNoWriMo? That was absolutely suicidal. Pile 1,667 words on per day plus homework and orchestra and artistic duties, not to mention my church activities and parents' expectations, I was living in a world of chaos and unrelenting stress! Why did I even accept the challenge in the first place?! However, I'm glad I survived and did manage to write a terrible half-done novel, which by the way, the plot isn't even halfway through yet. And I still haven't touched it since December 1st.

And now I'm also in that same situation: tests tomorrow, commissions to do, things to practice for.

MASOCHIST.

However, I do not enjoy emotional pain at all. It's more than I can handle. Sure I can fake a smile or stoic stare, but it's terrible!

*I'm not a masochist! I just lean towards that side more than most people.

 I'M DONE I'M DONE I'M DONE
WITH GAMUT
(but not really, since the plot isn't even half over yet. I didn't even get to leave it at the cliffhanger I wanted to put it at. Sigh, I'll just have to wait. It has to do with Minorei though... I'm a bad mother, abusing my characters. But that is what makes the story interesting...)
OFFICIALLY 50791!
THANK YOU NANOWRIMO!




I would donate but I'm broke. So broke. ;n; Need more commissions.

Potatoes today, mmm.
Almost didn't reach the 40,000 word mark. But I finally made it.

Tomorrow's Black Friday, meaning I'm going shopping for a tablet! And my father also promised me a PSP if I can keep up my grades and finish my online coursework. You betcha, I will get this thing. Now just how to figure out how to get Hakuouki Limited Edition... I don't think my parents would appreciate their daughter playing dating otome games with lots of blood in it. And my mom's an anti-demon kind of person. She wouldn't like the "Demon of the Fleeting Blossom" tagline. I mean, she even thought Allen Walker was a demon! I had to explain to her that he was an exorcist but she would not hear any of it!

Anyways, off to practice some Mushishi OSTs on the piano before I go to sleep! Super excited! But I just don't know what to get my parents. =___=

 Today just happened to be one of those extremely tiring days, where it's hard to type up anything. I also had to catch up with the word count, because I missed yesterday's word count by a lot. Even putting on some inspirational music didn't help much.

Maybe it's because I woke up late or didn't start until later because I had a picnic or whatnot. Maybe it's because of my lack of sleep this week or the fact I feel dizzy or that I have a nasty rash on my right hand. Maybe it's the fall allergies. However, it isn't an excuse for skipping out or procrastinating on a goal that I've set. So I typed grudgingly on.

But with some help from NaNoWordSprints and YWP's dare machine, I was able to write elaborately on some scenes, releasing all the artistic energy that was pent up in me but struggled to get out in words.

I really would love to draw but there's hardly any time with NaNo. I've got some homework to finish this weekend, so I'll be busy.

At least today I got to meet some new people on Fallen Syndicate.

 Writing Nano!

For some reason, writing curse words is taboo to me. I mean, it's not like I'm a goody-goody two shoes or something like that. But I somehow just can't bring myself to type those four letters of this or that. Even I will curse verbally every once in a while. But generally, I like to keep my language clean.

So if you're reading any of it, here's a general key. It's for all the stories I write, pretty much.


I don't really use any other words than that, hahah, but perhaps more is on the way to come.