3 January 2013

altairtherook: (Default)
I had resolved at the end of 2012 to not make any unnecessary resolutions. I was comfortable with my life. Why change a thing?

Well, my mother pushed me to change. Begrudgingly, I complied in outlining some goals but just looking at them makes me depressed because I know that to fulfill them, I have to give up a lot of things I love.

It's not completely a bad thing, hearsay, since I know with all my being that complacency will lead me nowhere. It's true, yes? When you're just satisfied with the everyday goodness of your life, you're not going to actively pursue that potential greatness that you could be.

For me, I read a lot of manga, anime, and light novels, regular novels, play video games and watch movies. I'm a media maniac and devour stories like a ravenous beast. Which is why it's so easy for me to say, "Come on, what a boring character! Why can't they just strive to be the very best?" or "If you stay like that, nothing good's going to happen and there won't be a good story at all." And little ramblings like that.

When in reality, I'm exactly like that boring character that won't do a thing. I'm all talk but little action. A repeat offender of procrastination. Which is bad. Because I'm also concerned with appearances, because at least I want to be a decent person, and a brilliant multimedia-ist, in which I have too many interests that take too much time, it's overwhelming. But that's a different matter for now.

Anyways, that's why I have some difficult goals this year which requires that the relaxed life I drifted through must go. I have to part from my procrastination (mainly tumblr, damn you) in order to complete the tasks which really matter. But that means letting go of a few stray dreams, like drawing and writing, at least for now.

School is now my priority. Grades matter. Also, there's so many AP tests to study for, I don't even want to get started. Not to mention projects and SAT and ACT and all that jazz. I'm already feeling slightly suicidal writing about it.

It's hard, because a lot of this I'm doing because of parental expectations. I just want to follow my dreams. And I know one day I will. It's just that ... sometimes you have to have a little discipline before you can fly.

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altairtherook

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❇ 在森林里

我也不知道。
不要问我。
我就是我。
你呢?

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